I am having bunion surgery next week. I'm not a big doctor person. You know what I mean....I avoid them. Doctors weird me out. Finding a good doctor who doesn't treat you like another warm robot body? Not so easy. My current physician is simply a doctor to me in the same way that I am simply a patient to him. He interrupts me when I'm talking and obviously doesn't give a shit about anything except getting me in and out of there.
But he does his job and I've yet to have a real complaint except that I don't like the way he handles his patients. If I had balls, which not many people do when they are sick, I think it would go something like this....
I get it. You're busy writing your next book, right? Yes, I saw the advertisements plastered all over your office for the current one, and I'm sure you'd rather be doing that than sitting here looking up my nose, telling me for the TWENTIETH time that my septum is deviated. Look in my file, I'll bet you'll see it there. You tell me this every time I have a sinus infection, and if you would let me talk, I would've told you that too. But I swear to everything holy that if you interrupt me again, I would like to stuff one of those stupid book flyers in your mouth and then maybe you'll listen to what I have to say about MY BODY.
Or something like that.
I can't even necessarily blame the guy, it's what he does for a living and he sees many patients in one day, much less in a week, month, or year. AND he's a dude, I'm a girl. What takes him 10 words to say probably takes me a whole paragraph. So there's that.
But somewhere inside of me I wonder if there's a doctor out there that cares about their patients AND is a bad-ass with the medical side of things as well. I used to have one of those, who I went to from about 13 to 22 YO, and he was AWESOME. But then he kept bring up church and that was SUCH a turn-off, but I'm thinking about going back. He's also about 30 minutes away. Bagh, we'll see.
For now, I'll be dealing with the fast-talking podiatrist from NY, whose bedside manner isn't stellar, but who gets pretty good reviews. My big toe joint, besides being bigger than it should be, now hurts, and no amount of ice or arnica cream provides much relief. I'm getting something called the Kalish procedure done.
I'm scared. I've only ever had my wisdom teeth out, and with this, they cut your bone and insert screws and realign things. THAT SHIT IS REAL and HEALING IS GOING TO HURT LIKE HELL. The pain meds will help though.
I'll be cooped up in the house for a week, which is FAHNE BY MEH. I love staying home, and this just gives me the perfect excuse. Dr. B has the day off and is carting me around, and my mom is making us some meals in advance, because she's the BEST MOM EVER.
I'll be working from home since I used pretty much all of my vacation days this year - and WHY WOULDN'T I? I DON'T UNDERSTAND PEOPLE WHO JUST LET THOSE GO TO WASTE. It's year-end though, and right now is when the accountants of the world take a deep collective breath before plunging into the dark, cruel waters of year-end work. Longer hours, TONS more work, less free time, and usually - for me - working on my birthday.
BUT I'd like to think that being completely drugged up will make the work less tedious. Hell, it might make it FUN. I've gotta be careful when replying to e-mails while on the meds though. Can't go telling my boss to stop making ridiculous demands, or that I'm not going to do the work because I'm too pretty. I can't go marking up my financials with crayon. And I CERTAINLY can't sign off my e-mails like this....
Love,
Gin
xoxoxox
:)
and on that note.....
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