Most of the times when there is conflict, regardless of who is right or wrong, responsible people will examine the part they played in the conflict and own up to it, apologize for it. If that doesn't happen, personal growth doesn't happen. Most of the times, people are so busy doing their little victory dance or being pissed off that they don't realize they've fucked up somewhere in there as well. If there's one thing I've learned from therapy, it's that being self-aware and personally introspective is an incredibly important part of growing up.
Like flossing and wiping front to back.
Obviously this doesn't apply to random acts of violence. That shit has no rhyme or reason.
I've been sick as a dog for a couple of weeks. I had foot surgery in late December, which was incredibly painful and far more traumatic than I could have imagined. I had a bad reaction to the pain meds and went off of them two days after the surgery, which was torture. Unbelievable pain. There are a LOT of nerves in your foot. The doctor and I worked that out, but it was a very unpleasant process.
Then the co-worker in the office next to mine came in with an upper respiratory infection and coughed for two days straight, spreading her nasty-ass germs far and wide. I have a severe dislike for people who come into work sick. It's irresponsible and inconsiderate. Since my immune system was already pretty worn thin from the surgery and crazy year-end work hours, I managed to catch it, with a side of bronchitis and sinus infection as well. Just SICK.
I went into the office one day this week, thinking I was well enough to be there. Wednesday, I think. And then back home because I was absolutely NOT better. Worked from home the rest of the week.
I'm supposed to be sitting for the next section of the CPA next week, and I'm 99.9% sure I will not pass. Finishing the CPA has taken far long than I anticipated, and I'm beyond tired of studying all the time. I should have done this 5 years ago. It's been very hard to manage my social life with my marriage with my studying with my work with my exercise routine. ETC AND ETC.
I've been in a pretty bad funk. Yes, I have a good life and I know it could be worse, but I'm at a low point and it is what it is. I don't have much patience for people right now. I don't really want to be around anyone, but at the same time, I miss my people.
My incredible mother is bringing over some italian meatball soup and fresh-made cookies to cheer me up in a little while. I think my dad is coming with too. My mom is probably what most people wish their mom was like. She's been calling every-other-day or so to check on me. She's brought me a ton of home-made food. I love her to the moon and back, and of course my daddy-o as well. They are both amazing people. Couldn't have asked for better parents, really.
Next week M and I are going to get salsa fixings and make some of her famous home-made salsa. If my sinuses aren't cleared out by then, they will be by the time the day is over. Her salsa is AMAZING. She sells it periodically, making it in HUGE batches. I got a big jar once (free, because I'm awesome), and she called it Ginny-Pig Salsa. Love it.
At some point I had told her of my elementary school fear of having a substitute teacher mispronounce my name as Guinea instead of Ginny. And Guinea Pig = Pig = I am fat.
So of course she named the salsa Ginny-Pig Salsa. Only now I'm a grown-up and think it's genius.
I met her through a friend-of-a-friend about 6 years ago, and we clicked immediately. She's been one of my best buds since then. And she's so much fun to be around, I really need that right now. She's one of those friends that I can call up and count on to come running if I need her. She's been harrassing me to hang out the last few weeks - I haven't been exactly accessible with the surgery and studying and year-end craziness - but then I got sick and couldn't. So we made real-life plans to do salsa and sushi next weekend. I love a good low-key hang out session with one of my favorite people on the planet. It will help my funk immensely.
Okay, bitchfest over. I need to find a more light topic for next time.
Update: My parents showed up with soup (and crackers, just in case I didn't have any, which I didn't), cookies, and bread pudding. And then proceeded to help Dr. B take down Christmas decorations. Said funk just got a little less funky-ish.
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