Sperm Fluid

I'm giving up on studying for the tonight. I worked so many fucking hours this week that the thought of reading about Financial Forecasting makes me want to vomit and then stab someone in a non-fatal location.

So let's talk sperm fluid instead.

First, a visual for why sperm fluid is so important to many English speaking folk.

A valid question. But you won't find an answer here.

First, the answer to this question MUST be yes, because google defaulted to sperm fluid before I even had a chance to finish my sentence. And because for anything you swallow, there is probably someone out there who is allergic to it.

Except maybe water.

And I don't even remember what I was googling, but it certainly wasn't as awesome as sperm fluid.

Next. An old friend of mine is going through a break-up, so I scanned her a number of letters she sent me over our teenage years. So that she could see how far she has come. And also how much better her handwriting has gotten.

We met at church camp when we were 11 and have recently discovered that we're both raging hethens. We're already planning a "let's drink Shiner beer and compare hethen stories" date in the spring when she comes back to Texas for a visit.

As a grand finale to the letters, which each came in their own separate e-mail, I sent her the sperm fluid screen shot, because who won't enjoy THAT?  And here's how it went:

Her:
OMG. One of my good friends (I'm actually sitting on her couch right now), had a bf whose sperm was toxic to her. But it apparently left a burning red rash on her skin. But it was only his, not sperm in general.

I can't wait to sit down and read these (though I'm a little worried about how many "with the love of Christ" and "may god keep you" 's, etc there might be).

 

Me:

Like, when you go to the pharmacy and you're all "what do I take so that I can swallow my boyfriend's cum without breaking out into hives?" And they're all, "Um, benadryl." And you're all, "wow that shit works for everything!" And then an awkward silence ensues while you pay for said benadryl, and then scurry away and curse that you'll have to start going to a different pharmacy or wear a wig and dark glasses when you go back to that one.

 

THAT'S what I thought about after I saw this. And it's probably why so many people ask google instead of their pharmacist.

 

I wonder her boyfriend ate something that she was allergic to, maybe peanuts or bees? Eeenteresting.

 

In Christ,
Ginny

And even though no one reads my blog - which is fine because I haven't told anyone about it and it's mostly for my entertainment and/or bad memory - I'm beyond excited at the tags I'm going to be able to throw on this post.  Church camp, shiner beer, and sperm fluid together? Yes please.